Category Archives: OCD Strategies

Creating Wow Moments and A+ Days

A Guide to Embracing Whatever              ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

How can you get your mind to surrender and embrace “whatever?” If you could figure that out WOW you would be having A+ days! Embracing, “whatever happens, happens” is a life lesson everyone needs to learn, but for those with the doubting disease (OCD) embracing “whatever” is no easy task.

I Was a Little Tricky This Week, Sorry

160_f_88145130_h0gurcx1l12shmcqbea0u6k8d7vlginnI always send a notification to my email subscribers when I’ve posted on this blog. This week instead of one email, “Hey go HERE to read all about…” I sent two emails. Neither email had any content. I was testing out the titles, trying to determine which had more appeal. To be honest I was hoping one of the emails would be very enticing and the other, nobody would open at all.

The first email was titled: “How to Build Absolute Certainty.” The second email arrived about 3 minutes later and was titled, “How to Embrace Whatever.” “How to Embrace Whatever” got a little edge because it would show in the inbox first followed by “How to Build Absolute Certainty.” But, alas…the edge didn’t matter.

More people opened “How to Build Absolute Certainty” than “How to Embrace Whatever.” A few people emailed me back and said, “I’m eager for you to send the content for how to get certainty.” 10% of those who opened “How to Build Absolute Certainty” never opened “How to Embrace Whatever.” 

There could be a number of reasons for not opening “Embrace Whatever.” Maybe they didn’t think there’d be any content like the one they just opened. Or, maybe embracing whatever doesn’t sound nearly as compelling and wonderful as learning how to get certainty.

My hope was that most people would not fall for the trap and not even open “How to Build Absolute Certainty.” I thought, if they’ve been reading my blog, or they work with me, they’ll know that trying to get certainty is what takes them down the rabbit hole and so they won’t bother opening that email.

Less than 5% skipped the “How to Build Absolute Certainty” email and only opened “Embrace Whatever.” There could be a number of reasons for not opening “How to Build Certainty.” I like to think it’s because they knew there’s no such thing.

OCD Can Be Painful, But What Causes the Suffering? 

Peace of mind is thought to be obtained from getting certainty. Yet, the very opposite is true. Peace of mind comes from the acceptance of not knowing for certain.

The more certain you try to be, the more anxious you become. Our minds were never created to be certain of anything. Other than the certainty of death, the only certainty in life, is… uncertainty.

Certainty is not a fact. It’s a mental sensation. In other words, certainty is a feeling. I can think I’m going to win the lottery. I can feel very excited about it. Yes! Yes! Yes! It feels like it’s really going to happen. The feeling that I’m going to be rich soon—does that make it true? No! Thoughts AND feelings aren’t facts.

160_f_62249125_9le5kjsulyijurexgwfoj69njnnrgi6gRealizing a few things about certainty will create a lot of WOW moments in your day. Learn to live life with uncertainty and you’ll get those A+ days.

How to Create WOW! Moments

Build Confidence in the Absence of Certainty

The degree to which one feels uncertain depends on one’s level of confidence. The more confident you are, the less uncertainty you will experience. Uncertainty is always there but you won’t think about it so much if you have confidence.

Of course, confidence is also a mental sensation—a feeling. The point is that if you have OCD your thirst for certainty is really a hunger for confidence. And you need it! You don’t need certainty, but you sure could use more confidence!

Understanding How Confidence is Built

Although I can’t say my car will absolutely start when I turn the key, I’m very confident it will. I’m 95% certain it will start. That’s not the truth. It’s just a strong feeling I have.

My degree of confidence is based on three factors:

160_f_106329739_sxc5bckqjsg5i6kiiohsug3eyqspi2tq1. Consensus

Are most people confident their car will start? It doesn’t seem to be a frequent problem I hear about very often. If the majority of people I knew were complaining about their car not starting then I might be doubting my own car’s reliability. “If it’s happening to everyone else, it’s bound to happen to me.” My level of confidence goes up or down depending on the number of people experiencing it.

Wow! Moment: Odd. OCD works in the opposite way. It doesn’t care about consensus. “Even though it’s not happening to everyone else, it could happen to me.”

Create an A+ Day: In a room full of 100 people how many of them would worry about this? Not many? Then trust the consensus. Shrug and say, “whatever happens, happens” and the feeling of confidence will gradually come over you.

160_f_104124148_51i3lrcyjzgmkc7nltowjmnbyvmrbft72. Repetition

How many times has my car started for me? This car and the three before have always started 100% of the time. The fact that cars repeatedly start for me has built my confidence level to a high degree of certainty. Through all this repetition, I’ve experienced a lot of success.

Wow! Moment! Odd. OCD works in the opposite way. Rituals are very repetitive but they are not successful. When practicing rituals, you’re actually practicing failure over and over.

What is the purpose of a ritual? You’re probably going to say, “To prevent harm or to feel just right.” But, that’s just the story OCD has made up. That’s not at all why you perform rituals or mental acts. You perform rituals to get rid of anxiety. You seek reassurance to get rid of anxiety. You avoid triggers to get rid of anxiety.

How long does all of that rid you of anxiety? Not long. It could be minutes if not seconds before you have to perform another ritual or seek reassurance. That’s called a failure! If it was a success you’d never have to do another ritual your entire life! Rituals, avoidance and reassurance seeking don’t build confidence levels. They shred confidence.

Create an A+ Day: Resist compulsive behavior fueled by a need to know. If you don’t resist, you’ll only be practicing failure after failure. Failure breeds more doubt. More uncertainty. Shrug and say, “whatever happens, happens” and the feeling of confidence will gradually come over you.

160_f_84705977_gmq3jewwnhrsmr6oppqxivwprgwhplcm3. Ease

The easier something is, or the less time I have to think about it, the higher my confidence level will be. How much effort do I have to put into making my car start? Almost none. I turn the key and the car starts. When something is this easy, I feel pretty confident.

Wow! Moment: Odd. OCD works in the opposite way. OCD makes everything hard. OCD can take something as simple as starting a car and make it into a complicated procedure. Are the tires kind of flat? What if water got into the gas line? Should the brake fluid be checked? What if the engine dies before I get to the store? What if I hit that person when I back out? All of this chatter before the key is even turned!

OCD makes you overthink the easiest things. It dissects almost anything into a million “What Ifs.” Something that’s meant to be done with ease, is suddenly very complicated. There goes your confidence level.

Create an A+ Day: Don’t overthink. Don’t analyze. Don’t try to figure it out. Our minds are meant to question. But, we’re not meant to stop and answer every question. Learn to shrug away the need to know. Say, “whatever happens, happens” and the feeling of confidence will gradually come over you.

Certainty is Over-Rated

Wow! Moment: Certainty isn’t an attractive trait.

Who do you trust more? Someone who is certain about everything to the point of arrogance? Or, someone who is uncertain to the point of humility?

160_f_71023231_cnhjmpwifwzcmuo3n3ikbtekbktksjrvWhy thirst for something that is truly unattractive? A person who is certain believes s/he’s learned all there is to know. There is no room for curiosity in certainty. Confidence allows for curiosity and certainty shuts it down.

Who is a better listener? Someone who is certain or someone who is confident? We’ve all seen someone be certain of something that is obviously wrong or unlikely. You know that person who is seldom in doubt but frequently wrong? Nobody likes being around that person who is always so certain because they never listen to others.

Certainty breeds rigidity. Confidence allows for flexibility. There’s no spontaneity or adventure in certainty. You’ve got to live in a very small little world to remain certain. Who wants that! Everything you want is on the other side of certainty!

Create an A+ Day: Dispel the notion of certainty as being attractive. It’s repulsive and restrictive. Boycott certainty! Let your value, to live life to its fullest, drive your behavior. Say, “whatever happens, happens” and the feeling of confidence will gradually come over you.

160_f_99201599_r49nsiveikhj5stne5vr2qokqinsrrjjI hope you have more and more A+ Days by embracing “whatever happens, happens.” There is peace of mind in surrendering. And your confidence will build as you surrender. As your confidence builds you begin to realize you can handle whatever. You’re stronger than you think.

Would you like to receive additional resource materials? Click Here to download a free quick guide to “Embracing Whatever?” p.s. at the end of the guide find out how you can get access to some custom made recordings of how to shrug at OCD.

An Open Letter From Parents with OCD

One night I went to the hospital to be with a client and her family as they welcomed their tiny tiny baby boy into the world. I visited him over the next few weeks in the NICU and almost fainted when the nurse pulled out a tube or snipped the umbilaca cord or something. I don’t even remember, what it was. I just know I was seeing stars. The parents, both with a long history of anxiety, were a lot steadier at the helm than me, that’s for sure.

img_1496Over the years, I’ve had the privilege of working with many Moms and Dads with OCD. The added bonus of that is I’ve held many newborns in my arms, and watched them grow before my eyes.

Beautiful, happy babies being taught life lessons by parents with OCD. If there is ever any doubt about the human capacity for strength and courage, all you need to do is be part of the journey of a parent who has OCD. Yes, you’ll find astonishing bravery. But, what stands out in my mind is a love so pure it can pulverize OCD.

I asked a few parents who have OCD how they stay so focused and strong. They provided a lot of good insight into what makes them tick. You’ll find they all have something in common:

160_f_69380413_annrnbjcopjefn3uuykjjpsjwqvjek2eKeep On Keepin’ On and Be Positive

I’m a wife and stay at home mom of two children. I was diagnosed with severe Postpartum OCD after the birth of my first child. I’ve learned over time to:

-Look for the bits of strength you have to reach a few goals each day starting with self care, for example taking a shower, eating small meals, staying hydrated.

– Be kind to yourself and expect to make mistakes along the way. Focus on the bits of light in the darkness without trying to evaluate the bad days.

– This experience is temporary, celebrate the victories you have each day no matter how “small” because each step brings you closer to relief.

160_f_69380413_annrnbjcopjefn3uuykjjpsjwqvjek2eFirst Time Mom: You’re Not Going to Rob Me of All My First Times OCD!

Hi! I am a wife, toddler mama, and homemaker. I like to have fun! Cooking interesting healthful food, reading fiction, and hanging out in nature, are my favorite ways to decompress. In past lives I have been a Starbucks barista and owned my own massage business.

OCD has been a struggle for me since preadolescence. Coming to terms with my OCD has been a slow process, and I am grateful to be in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy now as it is helping me to overcome OCD in far greater ways than I could without it. Despite experiencing setbacks sometimes, I can see improvement in my life.

I have tried other kinds of therapy and a lot of self-help books but nothing compares to CBT for OCD treatment, in my experience. Here are a few CBT tips that have been especially helpful to me as a mom who deals with OCD.

Tip #1: Have a Mantra such as: “Embrace Whatever”

“Embrace whatever” became my mantra, when in December of this past year I was faced with the prospect of a family road trip to go to a friends’ wedding. I was feeling severely frightened to go on this trip and was obsessing about it. Our son was around 11 months old at the time. I just couldn’t conceive of taking this long road trip with the baby, my in-laws and my husband all in the same vehicle. “What if this happens? What if that happens? What if someone says something that makes me feel bad?” If you have OCD, you know the drill.

Offhandedly, during a session, Tammy mentioned the phrase “embrace whatever” to me, and it just clicked. For me, “embrace whatever” means that come what may, good or bad, I am choosing to go with the flow. Whatever happens, happens.

It means that I will survive and it will all be fine! Even if the baby doesn’t get his nap, even if I have no idea what the trip will go down like, it will all be OK. Even if …. WHATEVER! And it was all ok, and even more than that it was a successful trip where our son bonded with his grandparents and we had some good conversation because we were all cozy driving to Lancaster, PA together.

If I had obeyed my fear we would have taken separate vehicles, so that my husband and I would have control of rest-stops etc. Instead, I chose to “embrace whatever”, by and large, throughout the trip. I said “Embrace whatever!” to myself, and probably out loud sometimes too, whenever I got clenched up inside, obsessing over details of how things may or may not work out. I have used this mantra many times since then.

Tip#2: Ask for What You Need

This concept of asking for what you need has been hard for me to remember. I think I should be able to do it all without help, but I absolutely can’t. I need help! It has been said that it “takes a village to raise a child” and I kind of agree with that.

Moms need time off too just for their own well-being. One example of asking for what I need was last year when the baby was really little, I asked my husband to be in charge of the baby monitor at night, and to help me in the middle of the night too, when the baby was waking up to feed.

This night-time partnership gave me a greater degree of sanity during the day because I got a little more sleep (and mental rest) than I would have without that help. Asking for help when I feel like I am burning the candle at both ends is essential for my well-being, and something I need to remember to do.

Tip #3: Take Every Thought Captive

This is a verse from the Bible but goes along great with cognitive behavioral therapy. Don’t let your thoughts dictate anything. Thoughts are just thoughts. Identify them, deal with them and move on.

For whatever reason (maybe “mom brain?”) this concept has been exceptionally difficult for me to grasp. Just recently (like last week) it began to click for me: Thoughts are not truths, they are just thoughts. They don’t define or dictate anything! I can talk to them and treat them like the bullying words that they are and doing this disempowers them.

I have dumb, negative thoughts going through my head all the time. Here’s a few recent ones: “You need to try harder as a mom“ or “You will sound so dumb if you have baby music playing really loud with your car windows open—who DOES that?”, “You haven’t gotten back to that person yet? You are such a bad friend”…

Pretty obnoxious stuff, right? Well, if I take every thought captive, I can put these thoughts in their place—the garbage! Lately I have just been agreeing with the negative thoughts. For example if I have the thought “You are a bad friend” I would say “You’re right I am a bad friend”.

Agreeing with a bullying thought is a way to trick OCD. It seems to have a significant disabling effect on the intense feeling of guilt or shame I was experiencing. I think this is what Tammy means when she talks about “mental kung fu”.   ac41290798310afdf52eccaaf1ba73af

Thanks for reading! I wish all of you my best on this journey we share of overcoming OCD! 

160_f_69380413_annrnbjcopjefn3uuykjjpsjwqvjek2eJoyful Mama Warrior

I am a mom of 3 kids (2 boys, 1 girl). I had my first son in May 2008- I was on Zoloft (50 mg) for depression/anxiety and was able to wean off about a month or so before he was born and able to go back on without issue; did not have any issues OCD wise, some baby blues and I would say normal new Mom anxiety. 

My second son (surprise pregnancy) was born in November 2010- I was again able to wean off Zoloft and actually did so sooner than my first (approximately 2-3 months), feeling fine up until 1-2 weeks before his birth- then weird thoughts/anxiety that I had not experienced before but brushed it off as I was under a lot of stress.

I had a somewhat traumatic birth as his cord was wrapped around his neck and he wasn’t crying right away. The next day I was having intrusive thoughts that just got worse.  I didn’t really understand what was going on, crying uncontrollably. The hospital staff I don’t believe knew how to help me properly, placed me on a bunch of heavy antipsychotic meds and I was sent to my parents without my baby (CPS got involved when I told staff I was having scary thoughts.)

I found Tammy who taught me about OCDs mechanism and how to do exposures and found a psychiatrist to help with meds (had to increase Zoloft for awhile).  It was at least 2-3 months of constant intrusive thoughts and I slowly improved.

After a year and a half or so I felt I had returned to a good place where my husband and I felt we were open to having another baby– unfortunately lost 2 babies in 2013 and then had our daughter August of 2014- able to wean off Zoloft again and felt good soon after birth.

Then had issues with breastfeeding and became highly anxious and intrusive thoughts dominated my mind (different than last time) again.  I seemed to recover quicker overall however had more mini storms than with my second son. 
 
Tips that have helped me I can break down into different categories:

  • Regular exercise/eating well (Physical)
  • Prayer/practicing my faith (Spiritual)
  • Spending time with family and friends/helping others (Social emotional)
  • Focus exercises/ exposures (although I do not do these enough especially when I am in a good place) (Mental)

And one of the biggest reminders I have to give myself is that OCD is a trickster and it can sneak back in when I am doing really good and it can wreak havoc. So I need to most especially confront it at those times; also taking things day by day especially when I am in a storm.  

The thing is although having my kids, most especially my second son and daughter, seemed to heighten my intrusive thoughts, my kids bring more joy and purpose than I could imagine- I fight OCD so it doesn’t get to rob me of that.   

160_f_69380413_annrnbjcopjefn3uuykjjpsjwqvjek2eDad Keeps an Open Mind

I have had OCD for 55 years based on what I remember of my behavior, thoughts and actions during that time.  I am currently 60.

Open to Being Reasonable

What helped me the most in parenting while dealing with OCD was listening to my spouse when we discussed how to parent.  Not for reassurance but for her non tunnel vision approach.  She would not think black and white like I did.  I knew my thinking wasn’t considerate of the whole picture of the circumstances.   So essentially listen to spouse, listen to the children and then take some deep breaths and just give parenting a try.  

Open to Spending Time Together

Having fun with the family by doing things together was a great help.  In later years as my daughters reached teenage years I would take each one out to lunch separately and just talk about anything and sometimes nothing. That helped me to understand where they were in life and helped me to be more effective at parenting.

Trusting each one until they proved with solid evidence that they had been untrustworthy.  Even then giving them some slack for being human was helpful.  

Open to Imperfection

With OCD you may feel like you should be this or that to be a perfect parent, but the kids won’t notice if you don’t buy into that self image yourself.  They just want to know you’re proud of them and love them unconditionally.

Remember it is not what you advise that matters but what you do what they remember. I learned that later on.

160_f_69380413_annrnbjcopjefn3uuykjjpsjwqvjek2eGive Yourself a Break!

Be Open With Your Kids

There are going to be situations where you have to do things differently, and your kids will notice. When they are old enough, explain that you have OCD the same way you would explain if you had a broken arm. Later, you’ll appreciate how much easier it is to just say you’re having anxiety about something instead of making an excuse to your child. In my experience, they’re actually pretty cool about it.

Try Not to Talk Yourself Down

Kids soak up everything we do in front of them. You’ll notice your young children will mimic your movements and talk like you. The other day, I was doing yoga and my 2-year-old niece randomly walked over and went into downward dog next to my mat. Kids are the great imitators. A lot of those of us who have OCD and related disorders aren’t happy with ourselves. We’ll say things like “I can’t do that,” “I’m such a burden,” “I’m weak,” and other statements in the same vein. You’ll teach your kid that having a mental illness is weakness. It makes a person a burden. Try to refer to your illness as something that happens to you, not something you are and see if that makes an impact on how your child feels about his or her own mental health.

Take a Break

You want to be the best mom in the world? Tough. That distinction does not exist. Everyone has different standards, and some amazing moms wind up with terrible kids and vice versa. You can’t be on all the time. You can’t do every bake sale, swim meet, football booster and parent conference. Sometimes you have to say no and just take that time for yourself. Give yourself a break, both figuratively and literally.

Contributed byMichelle at: Living With Intrusive Thoughts.

160_f_69380413_annrnbjcopjefn3uuykjjpsjwqvjek2eMom of Five: I Ain’t Got No Time for That (Shame)

It wasn’t long after my baby was born, that I started developing fears….Not just fears over things that you would expect somebody to be afraid of, like dogs or spiders or airplanes…… although there were plenty of those…

For the rest of this story go to: theworrygames.com  

Commonality

By now you’ve probably noticed what these six people have in common. I can’t wait to hear what you think it is! Leave a comment!

 

If You Don’t Celebrate Your Victories Over OCD: The Cold, Hard/Ugly Truth

I asked my client who recently attended a wedding,“Why was everyone celebrating? What’s the accomplishment?”

Two People Found Each Other

She paused for a long time. “Hmmm, I guess it’s a celebration of two people finding each other?” I asked, “And you celebrated that?” My client smiled and said, “I know what you’re doing.” She was on to me.

This client, once unable to take three steps without a lengthy ritual, danced the entire night at a wedding reception—completely ritual free! There’ve been so many victories over the last few months. And not once has she ever celebrated. Not one tiny little whoot whoot! 

I asked my client, “What? What do you think I’m doing?”

She said, “You’re wondering if I celebrated my own accomplishment. You’re wondering if I did a little happy dance for myself.”

I moved to the edge of my seat in anticipation, “Yes! Yes! I’m wondering if at any point you twirled around on that dance floor and shouted with glee, “I’m free! I’m free!” She replied, “Oh God no. I’m not ever going to do that!”

This woman is doing the hardest thing she’ll ever do in her life. She’s defying OCD. She’s been disobedient and doing the opposite of what OCD tells her to do for months now.

OCD says leave. She stays. OCD says don’t think about this. She thinks about it more. OCD warns, “Do this (ritual) or something bad is going to happen.” She says, “Nah, that’s ok. Whatever happens, happens.”

Time and time again, my client proves to be more powerful than OCD. Everyday she’s winning more and more battles! If OCD kicks it up a notch, she powers right through it. She says, “Oh yeah OCD??? Watch this OCD! You’re not the boss of me anymore!”

And yet she won’t celebrate. 😦

Reasons Why People With OCD Won’t Celebrate Their Victories 

No Plan or Intention
I forgot all about celebrating. I planned the exposure but didn’t think about what I could do to celebrate. It just slipped my mind.

The Hustle
Isn’t it about the climb more than the top of the mountain? No pain—No gain. If I’m not suffering something’s not right. I thought I was supposed to be suffering all the time?

It’s Too Soon
I’ll celebrate later. I’m not where I want to be. I haven’t done enough. I’ve got a long way to go before I should start celebrating.

Minimizing the Victory
There’s people with far worse problems than me. I’m so ashamed of being self-absorbed by my worries. There’s people starving in this world.

I Don’t Know How to Celebrate
I can’t think of anything to reward myself with. There isn’t anything I want or need. I don’t know how to acknowledge what I’ve done. I feel silly.

Self-Deprecating
Why would I celebrate doing something that everybody else can easily do? I’m not going to celebrate over some piddly little thing I should have been able to do a long time ago.

Too Focused On What’s Wrong or Not Working
Sure I pulled that off. So what! What good did it do? Even though I did the exposure I’m still anxious and the thought is still there.

There’s No Point
Why should I celebrate? Sure, today was a victory but tomorrow that’s another story. Tomorrow everything could go back to the way OCD wants it. Who’s to say all my success today will be repeated tomorrow?

Don’t Want to Jinx It
160_F_53866595_awc4UOHXfDnVkShtYcVwUcGMbKnfXY3xI don’t want to let my guard down by celebrating. As soon as I acknowledge that I’m doing pretty good, OCD will throw a bomb at me. I don’t think it’s smart to say anything positive right now. I’ll jinx myself.

What’s Your Reason? Have I missed yours? When you are victorious over OCD, what keeps you from celebrating? Is it mentioned above or do you have one to add? Please let us know! You can add it anonymously in the comment section.

The cold, hard/ugly truth is that without acknowledging your victories it can take twice as long to be healthy and free!

If your child or best friend gave you any of the above reasons for not celebrating a victory would you say, “Yeah, you’re right. You can’t celebrate.”

Why Celebrate?
People with OCD often ask, “How can I stop all this chatter in my head?” “I’m feeling like this will never get better.” If you really want to influence your thoughts and feelings, then celebrate your victories!

Celebrate to generate motivation. Feel better. Release the happy juice: dopamine. Celebrating is the foundation to success!

No matter how tiny or small you think your victory is, CELEBRATE! Cultivate a positive mindset with a happy dance! This is scientifically proven so why not try it out!160_F_71169979_lUqsaleU33MIAROqijSVU9iIMj7VG6xr

When to Celebrate

  • OCD told you to leave and you stayed
  • OCD told you to stay and you left
  • OCD told you to stop think a thought less and you thought it more
  • OCD told you to sanitize and you got dirty
  • OCD told you to go back and check and you shrugged ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and kept going
  • OCD told you something bad could happen and you said, “Whatever happens, happens. I’ll deal with it if and when it happens.”
  • OCD questioned your morals or intentions and you said, “We’ll just never know. Oh well.”
  • OCD questioned your health and you said, “I don’t want to live in a small little bubble.”
  • OCD suggested other people are more adequate than you and you said, “I’d rather just go ahead and be inadequate than agonize over whether or not I’m adequate.”
  • OCD tells you to keep doing it (ritual) until you feel just right and you say, “I’d rather feel just wrong.”
  • OCD tells you that you’re going to end up all alone you say, “Then I can leave the dishes in the sink as long as I want!”

160_F_97775477_0t8rTFkU6nsuY7ZZ5NK7SaIvKlSmSHzIWhenever you do the opposite of what OCD tells you to do, it’s time to CELEBRATE!

How to Celebrate
Here’s the thing about celebrating. It doesn’t matter how you celebrate. What matters is that you consistently do something that tells your brain you are pleased or even happy about something you did. It doesn’t have to be a glamorous affair. But it can be! 😜

Let us know in the comment section how you like to celebrate!

Think of all the rituals and compulsions you’re willing to use to cultivate a mindset of fear and avoidance. You’ve been etching this groove in your brain long enough! It’s time to flip it and cultivate a positive mindset! Put some thought and muscle into celebrating!!!

And for those of you who don’t celebrate because you don’t feel like it—do it anyway. It can help. Check out this link: Go Here From the book, Thinking Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman

If you aren’t celebrating, you can’t blame it on OCD. You’re getting in your own way of freeing your mind. Freeing your life.

What are you going to celebrate today and how are you going to do it?

 

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Exposure & Response Prevention: 5 (More) Mistakes Commonly Made

Over the years I’ve seen many brave people confront OCD with ERP. It’s one of the scariest things a person can do. In their entire life, there will probably be nothing harder or scarier than the day they start to climb their hierarchy of fear—their Worry Hill.

160_F_73935520_ciJAUqe4E8Hp9XsdGTNwIImt4NNO1ZLT

Going up the Worry Hill takes determination. You don’t feel like doing it but you do it anyway. It takes courage because it’s doing everything OCD has told you not to do. How can something that feels so wrong be so right?

Go up the Worry Hill because you’ve got a fight in you. You don’t have a lot of energy, but you’ve got just enough. Get your life back. You’re tired of being a slave to OCD and watching your life pass by.

But, as you’re climbing the Worry Hill, it’s not getting easier. The chatter in your mind is getting louder and more frequent. What’s going on?

Here are 5 mistakes commonly made when climbing up the Worry Hill:

Mistake #1 Trying to Get Rid of Anxiety
WANT the anxiety. You want it to be intense and you want it to last. It’s a mistake to do ERP in hopes of getting rid of anxiety. When doing ERP the goal is to purposefully make yourself anxious. As you climb the hierarchy the anxiety should intensify. This way you’ll begin to tolerate anxiety. You’ll become more and more confident in your ability to handle anxiety. As you climb the hierarchy don’t do anything to neutralize the anxiety. Sit with the anxiety. Want it. Say, “Good there’s my anxiety.”

Mistake #2 Looking Ahead
When you climb the Worry Hill it’s going to feel “just wrong” and you might be scared out of your mind. Take it one step at a time. 160_F_64095349_CJnntlYqxXtld1uBZD7bCxWc9hSMabjcDon’t look up the hill. Focus on the step you’re taking right here, right now. It’s a mistake to look ahead. Keep your nose to the grindstone.

Mistake #3 No Momentum
When climbing the Worry Hill, don’t stop ’til you get to the top. The mistake people make is to lose momentum. Presidential candidates work fiercely to build momentum. They say they won’t stop ’til they reach the top. They hold rallies, town hall meetings, and debates.They’re on TV 24 hours a day. This is an example of building momentum. If a presidential candidate disappears for even a day, they lose momentum. Stay in the game every single day. In fact, do at least 5 exposures every single day of your life.

Mistake #4 Trying to Get Rid of a Thought
WANT the thought. It’s a mistake to do ERP in hopes of getting rid of unwanted intrusive thoughts. ERP teaches you to allow the thoughts or obsession to be there. Do nothing to get rid of them. In fact, use them in ERP so that you learn to live with them. As you climb the hierarchy invite the thoughts. Want the thoughts. Say, “Good there’s my scary thought, my obsession. Welcome.”

Mistake #5 Climbing the Wrong Worry Hill
Make sure your hierarchy involves the actual core fear. It’s a mistake to not walk your fear through to the worst possible scenario.

Confront OCD with ERP

As you build the hierarchy keep asking: “If this happens, then what happens next? And then what? And then what?” Keep asking until you reach your worst fear. Your worst fear has to be what you’re climbing up towards.

What mistake do you think you’ve made or are making? Is it one of these five or something else? Will you choose to tackle this mistake?

If you’re just getting started with Exposure & Response Prevention you want to ease your way into it.  Check out this book to ease your way into facing your fears.

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