Category Archives: Compulsive behavior

Compulsions: Do They Really Save Lives?

It’s not easy to resist compulsions when you think they save lives.

But wait a minute…are you on a mission to save lives? Wow, that’s extraordinary! What a stunning and exceptional way to live. 

That’s not how you feel though is it? Saving lives with compulsions is a heavy burden. It’s like having a young version of you on one shoulder and an adult version on the other. And, they just argue back and forth all day long about what’s real and what isn’t.

There’s a part of you that knows the compulsions…all the mental acts, repetitive movements, counting, sanitizing, checking, can’t really control whether someone lives or dies. But, then there’s this other part of you that just isn’t sure. 

The voice of OCD can be so convincing even in the presence of absurdity. “That toothpick on the sidewalk could cause someone to die of a prolonged muscle spasm.” It’s ridiculous but your anxiety is so high that you go back and pick up the toothpick.

What can you do to resist compulsions when you think they save lives?

  • Confront the absurdity with even more absurdity 
  • Admit you’re not qualified to save lives
  • Stick to your own set of rules, not OCD’s
  • Ask people if they want to be saved by you

Absurdity Meets Absurdity

It’s hard for you to be willing to see what happens if you resist compulsions. Part of you says nothing would happen. You’re definitely not 100% sure that compulsions save lives.

Resist Compulsions
This is something OCD would want!

Let’s challenge the thought that compulsions prevent bad things from happening with sarcasm. If there’s one thing that silences OCD, it’s humor or sarcasm. It’s a fantastic way to outwit OCD.

So with tongue-in-cheek and a bit of mockery, let’s throw OCD off its game with sarcasm and a few paradigm shifts.

Example of a paradigm shift: 

“I don’t touch pictures of poison because I will get contaminated and spread it to other people.”

“Wow! that’s impressive. Then all we have to do is send pictures of poison to members of Isis to end terrorism.”

Sarcasm is a great way to take charge of OCD. So here comes a lot of sarcasm and I hope no one gets offended except, of course, OCD!

Question Your Authority to Save Lives

“My Compulsions Save Lives”
Resist compulsions
What Makes You An Authority?

Paradigm shift: Wonderful! I’d like to save lives too! How can I sign-up? Where did you get your training? How did you get licensed or certified to save lives with compulsions?

Do You Have a License to Save Lives?

People in the business of saving lives have credentials to do so. Take for example the credentials of a lifeguard:

  • Must meet an age requirement
  • Approximately 35 hours of lifeguard training must be completed to learn water rescue techniques. In addition, the student must learn how to surveil a body of water and how to evaluate each swimmer’s aquatic abilities. The student is also taught when s/he is not required to enter unsafe waters.
  • Obtain professional rescuer First Aid Certification
  • Swim 300 yards, tread for 2 minutes and dive 7-10 feet to retrieve a brick
  • Perform all skills with 100% accuracy
  • Pass a written test proving you understand and can implement appropriate responses

What are the requirements someone like you must meet in order to save lives? Is there any proof that you know what you’re doing?

This list isn’t exhaustive or in any particular order, but just look at all the people who save lives:
  • military personnel
  • law enforcement
  • firefighters
  • microbiology scientists who thwart unstoppable microbes
  • scientists who monitor vaults that hold the seeds of all plants we need in case of a global catastrophe
  • asteroid trackers who keep an eye on possible collisions
  • seismologist and volcanologist who predict earthquakes and tsunamis
  • faith leaders who mediate conflict and feed the hungry
  • disaster preparedness specialists
  • hospital quality assurance officers and inspectors
  • correctional officers
  • criminal investigators
  • security guards 
  • park rangers
  • nurses and certified nursing assistants
  • public health department specialists and centers for disease control personnel
  • doctors and therapists
  • EMT and paramedics
  • ambulance dispatchers and 911 operators
  • ambulance drivers/attendants
  • hazmat removal, waste management, and nuclear energy engineers

Paradigm Shift: If compulsions save lives, why isn’t the job of “Compulsive Behavior Specialist II” included in the above list? Why can’t we find your job in the want ads? Shouldn’t colleges offer Compulsive Behavior as a major?

Resist Compulsions
Who needs qualifications?

It looks as though all the people above who save lives have qualifications. What are yours? It’s just a feeling you have? “I’ve got a feeling” is not recognized anywhere as a credential. I think that’s called something like hocus-pocus. Would you let someone operate on your brain until it feels just right? If you were told to evacuate your city because somebody has a feeling there’s going to be an earthquake, would you leave?

Willy-Nilly Compulsions

Do you ever feel like you’re just shooting from the hip; making it up as you go along? I mean, there’s no consistency to what you’re doing to prevent harm. There are times you skip the compulsions that supposedly save lives. And, nothing happens!

You check locks and electrical cords but buy nonorganic food. Even if you do buy organic, because of the wind factor, do you make sure the organic strawberries are 50 miles away from the field that uses the pesticide Round-Up?

If you truly believe you are responsible for saving lives, then you’d never be able to sleep, go to work, school or just have fun. There’s just too much to do. You can never do enough to protect people from harm. No matter how hard you try, it will never be enough.

So OCD actually gives you a break and tells you that you only have to save certain lives. And, that you don’t have to save them from everything…just some things. How nice of OCD to be very selective about who and how to save people.

Anybody else who was so inconsistent would be called sketchy! OCD is evasive and lacks consistency for a reason–so it can hide the truth about compulsions.

What Are Your Guiding Principles?

Every single person who is in the professional business of saving lives is required to follow guidelines. If they don’t they’re reprimanded or fired.

What are your guiding principles? Do you have a manual of policies and procedures that you follow for your life-saving compulsions? Who was your mentor? I don’t know anybody that professionally who hasn’t been taught by someone else!

Hospitals are in the business of saving lives. They have rules and regulations to follow. Within the hospital is a Quality Control Unit that conducts audits and inspections to make sure policies and procedures are in place and being followed. 

In order to save lives, people follow a professional code of conduct. Look at all that is involved in saving lives:

  • rules and regulations set by lawmakers
  • professional standards and ethics
  • competency training and testing
  • periodic performance evaluations
  • re-attestations for professional licenses and/or certifications
  • continuing education credit requirements for professional development
  • physical and/or psychological exams results 
  • background checks and drug screenings
  • malpractice insurance companies
Resist compulsions
Willy-Nilly Hocus-Pocus!

Not only have you had no training you also have no code of professional conduct. Everything you do is willy-nilly. Your compulsions are not based on policies and procedures from best practice standards. You make them up as you go along based on how you feel in the moment. That’s OCD at work.

Paradigm Shift: Until you attend some kind of Academy for Compulsive Behaviors we can’t take you seriously. You have a lot of work to do before you’ll be considered qualified to save lives.

If you would like to become certified in saving lives with compulsions, you must first pass this quiz prior to enrolling in the Academy for Compulsive Behaviors:

Override OCD With Your Own Set of Rules

If you rely on OCD to tell you what to do about your anxiety, you’ll engage in compulsive behavior. It will be much easier to resist compulsions if you commit to following a set of rules that the adult-sized version believes in!

Let’s say a local college wants to start offering a major in Compulsive Behaviors. They recognize all your efforts to save lives with compulsions and ask you, the expert, to write policies and procedures, to teach students when it’s justified to use a compulsion.

As you write this policy and procedure consider the following: 

#1) If you see/hear/think/feel something that makes you want to prevent something bad from happening with a compulsion…ask, is it worthy of calling 911?

People tend to call 911 if an airway is obstructed, or a person can’t stand up or walk straight, is bleeding profusely or in severe pain. People don’t call 911 if they think they gave someone a germ.

Unless there’s a cry for help or it’s 911-worthy why would you intervene with a compulsion? 

What about the newspaper that could fly up on a car’s windshield. Shouldn’t I go back and get it? Is it 911-worthy? No. Then leave it, walk away and tolerate the anxiety.

Manuals Give Directions On How to Do Something. Where’s Your Manual?

#2) In a room full of 100 people, how many would be worrying like you? How many would use a compulsion to address this worry?

An action is considered “reasonable” (some people use the word “normal” but I don’t know what that is) when the majority of people in the same circumstance would behave in the same way. (If you can’t figure out what the majority would do then how about the most reasonable person you know–what would s/he do?)

Would the majority of waitresses check to see if it’s shards of glass or ice in people’s water? Do most customers walk through aisles in the grocery store scanning for expired food? Is it common for people to count to a certain number to prevent bad things from happening? If the answer is no…shrug and walk away.

Compulsions Aren’t Reasonable!

#3) If you believe your compulsive behaviors save lives, then why don’t you recommend them to other people? Whatever is applicable to you is applicable to others. If compulsions work for you then they should work for everybody else. 

I have to count when I go through doorways or something bad will happen. If my elbow touches a surface, I have to touch the same thing with my other elbow to prevent bad things. Okay, then everybody should do this.

Ever Wondered Why There Is No Manual On “How to Do a Compulsion?”

#4) If you take this action will you actually be increasing the risk of harm?

OCD is all about preventing something bad from happening right? HA! Nope. The problem with that assumption is that OCD knows nothing about life. OCD is about 2 or 3 years old so I hardly think there are years of experience to draw upon to know how to prevent bad things from happening. Usually, OCD is causing harm–not preventing it.

Excessive handwashing removes good bacteria, thereby lowering the immune system and increasing the risk of illness. Driving back to see if someone has been hit means more time on the road. More time on the road means a higher risk of an accident. Switching a light on and off to make sure it’s off only increases the wear and tear on the switch. 

Compulsions Increase Risk

#5) If you have the ability to save lives then you must use your compulsions to save more lives than you currently focus on. It doesn’t make sense that if you truly have this ability you should be selective about it. Why not save the world?

Resist compulsions
Capes are on sale this month!

From now on you must go to the pediatric intensive care unit at the local hospital and use your compulsions to save the lives of precious children. When you’re done there write an email to Dr. Oz and ask to be on his show so that you can share the good that you’re doing.

It’s not fair that you don’t go big with your compulsions. Offer televised healing meetings. People from all over the world will come to you for your healing compulsions.

Face It, You Can Never Do Enough to Protect People

#6) Are you following a chain of authority or stepping out of bounds?

  • Scanning the shelves at work I look for loose screws and then report them to maintenance. Maintenance doesn’t tighten them. I keep reporting them. I just don’t want anyone to get hurt.” It’s not your responsibility to do what you’re doing. Let the maintenance department do their job in the manner they see fit. 
  • “I noticed people in a food court were drinking iced tea known to have fluoride in it. A pre-typed leaflet warning of the dangers of fluoride is left by me at each table. I carry these leaflets everywhere I go.” It’s not up to you to educate the general population. People can educate themselves. 
  • To avoid getting my baby sick I pass by him when I get home and jump in the shower for an hour. I hug him only when I am clean. It’s the pediatrician’s job to tell you how to introduce the right amount of dirt and germs to build the immune system. A pediatrician will never tell you to NOT allow germs and dirt!
  • I purchased 50 smoke detectors to inspect the date they were manufactured. The smoke detectors are returned in perfect condition with a note I tucked inside each box: “Make sure you replace batteries using the date the detector was manufactured not purchased.” It’s up to the consumer to read the directions provided by the company.
  • Out of the blue, I thought of my 18-year-old son and suddenly felt he was in danger so I counted 1-2-3-4, 1-2-3-4, 1-2-3-4 until I felt he was safe. Your son is old enough to take care of himself. It’s not your job.

    Compulsions Don’t Save Lives They Rob You of Life

    Let this sink in: 

    You’ve gone rogue. You’re not credentialed or authorized to save lives with compulsions. You have no formal training on the use of compulsions. You’re self-taught. There are no policies or procedures that justify your actions. You’re overstepping your bounds. People don’t want you to save them!

Have You Asked If They Want To Be Saved?

Resist compulsions
People have a right to say no thank you!

If you asked your loved ones, they’d risk their lives than watch you be a slave to your compulsions.  They would never give you permission to perform compulsions in an effort to save them. 

Yet, you don’t listen to them. This is known as paternalism; it’s the practice of governing others. You preside over, be in charge of and make decisions for other people. When you’re being paternalistic people are deprived of the right to self-determination; the right to determine one’s own destiny.

And, I bet paternalism goes against your value system. You don’t really believe you should control other people’s lives and deprive them of making their own decisions. That’s not really who you are.

It’s your aversion to anxiety that makes you become paternalistic.

When you learn to experience anxiety and allow uncertainty to exist, there will no longer be any need for compulsions. Be willing to find out what happens from moment to moment. One moment at a time…

Your loved ones don’t want you to save them. They see what it costs you. Ask them if they want you engaging in all these safety behaviors. They’ll tell you no thanks. And it’s their right to make that decision.

You don’t have the credentials to save lives. You’ve had no training. Other people in the business of saving lives have taken competency tests; not you.

And…you also have not been given permission by your loved ones to perform compulsions on their behalf.

Let this sink in: 

You’ve gone rogue. You’re not credentialed or authorized to save lives with compulsions. You have no formal training on the use of compulsions. You’re self-taught. There are no policies or procedures that justify your actions. You’re overstepping your bounds. It’s time to transfer responsibility back where it belongs.

Today’s Best Advice On How to Resist Compulsions:

Use sarcasm and humor to outwit OCD. Meet absurdity with absurdity.

Resisting compulsions

Is it okay to use a distraction to resist compulsions?

Resisting compulsions
Questions? I can help!

If you have questions about how to resist compulsions be sure to add them to the comment section on this post. I’ll be sure to address your questions and give you…The Best Advice On How to Resist Compulsions

How to Cope With Your Anxiety While Resisting Compulsions

“The Last Time I Tried Resisting Compulsions I Came Undone. How Can I Do This Without Such Debilitating Anxiety?”

Especially important for you to know is that anxiety is nothing more than a physiological sensation. It doesn’t have to be debilitating. It’s not the anxiety itself, but your appraisal of the anxiety that’s causing all the ruckus. 

Resist Compulsions
Ouch, that hurts. Good!

This TENS Unit causes pain to relieve pain. I use one to help heal my elbow injury from racquetball. It uses a low voltage electric current to stimulate the nerve endings. If turned up to the highest level, it packs quite a punch! It’s intense but effective.

I turn the TENS Unit up high and go about my day. I lean into the sensation. If I cringe or resist I’m only creating more tension. I actually forget all about it during the 20 minutes it’s electrocuting me. (It’s not really electrocuting me! Hmmm…at least I don’t think so?)

Whenever possible, instead of avoiding anxiety lean into the discomfort. This doesn’t mean white-knuckle your way through. It just means be willing to experience the discomfort and learn how to handle it. Don’t resist the sensation. Soften into it.

It doesn’t mean you have to like to feel uncomfortable. It means you have to allow the discomfort. Bring some love to yourself for allowing the discomfort.

And as always, be thankful for the opportunity to practice being anxious. Practice makes progress! “I’m anxious. Good. I need the practice.”

How to Practice Just Noticing the Anxiety

This is important: The content of your thought is irrelevant. I know you think thoughts might mean something. You worry if these thoughts are not thwarted somehow they’ll become reality. News Flash: Just because you have a thought doesn’t make it true. 

So you avoid triggers and try to push thoughts away. You worry your thoughts define who you are. Compulsions are used to prevent or reverse bad things from happening.

This is what puts the “D” in OCD. It’s what causes the disorder. As one client puts it: It’s placing an emphasis on something (thoughts) that’s not even tangible. Have you ever said, “But, the thoughts feel real?” Think for a minute…How do you feel whether or not a thought is real? How do you feel truth?

You Can’t Feel a Thought

If you have a worry or an unwanted, intrusive thought what you feel is anxiety. You’re not feeling the thought, you’re feeling the anxiety. News Flash: Just because you have anxiety doesn’t mean something is wrong.

When you engage in a compulsion, you feel (temporary) relief from anxiety. Let this sink in: You haven’t “compulsed” your way into truth or certainty. You’ve “compulsed” your way into the absence of a sensation that was there and now gone…gone for only a brief moment.

When you focus on that which is intangible (thought) you’re placing emphasis on something that cannot be defined or understood. You can’t get to the bottom of a thought but you can get to the bottom of anxiety.

Anxiety is tangible and can be located and defined. Notice where you feel the anxiety in your body. Is your stomach queasy? Do any of your muscles twitch? Is your heart racing? Does your skin perspire or ears buzz? What feels tight–shoulders, throat?

Get Curious About What You Are Feeling Not Thinking

  • Be curious about the way your body is trying to adapt. “Oh, that’s interesting. In response to my anxiety, I must be releasing adrenaline right now. My body obviously knows I’m distressed and is really going overboard and working very hard to find a balance.”
  • Don’t focus on why you’re upset and anxious. Focus on the sensation. How does your body produce this sensation? Fascinating. Not why are you anxious. How?

    Resist Compulsions
    Allow, Love, Allow
  • Breathe in the suffering. Exhale compassion. You might think you should do the reverse because it’s instinctive to resist and avoid pain and suffering. But, by intentionally breathing in the discomfort and exhaling compassion you are ending the pattern of resistance. Resistance only perpetuates more suffering.
OCD is child-like with no life experience
  • Have empathy for your OCD. “May you be filled with loving kindness.” (Remember OCD is a young version of you. Offer your compassion and guidance, not hate.) Put your hand on your heart and say the words: Love. Love. Love. Not that you have to love having OCD. But, bring some love to yourself for allowing whatever it is you are feeling and thinking.
  • Relax your belly and brow. Don’t rock or rub. Soften into the tension. If you resist the tension, you’re only making the sensation tighter. 
  • Hold your hands with palms up and let the energy flow from your body. Crossing your arms or making fists keeps it locked in. It’s energy that doesn’t like being bottled up. Let it out.
  • Feel the sensations in your body. Don’t judge. Notice and allow. Say the words: Allow. Allow. Allow.
  • Don’t evaluate the thoughts. Don’t dig deep. Just notice how your body reacts. 
  • Surrender to the experience without trying to understand it. Don’t head down the rabbit hole trying to figure out what it all means. It only means one thing: You’re anxious.
  • Be present and like a good neighbor observe the physicality of your anxiety.

Especially relevant and noteworthy is how hard it is to be anxious when you are curious and fascinated. Get curious about the physicality of anxiety! 

Anxiety Is Tangible, Thoughts Aren’t

Do thoughts smell? Do they have a flavor that you can taste? Do thoughts have a texture? Think about a chocolate cake. Can you taste it by thinking about it? Smell it? Feel it in your mouth? Hear it? Thoughts aren’t tangible! It’s impossible to feel a thought. 

It’s not the thoughts you’re feeling. It’s the anxiety. 

Wouldn’t you prefer something more concrete to deal with? Would you rather have a live person to be friends with or someone on Facebook? Do you prefer to eat something that is recognizable through your senses? Or do you want to eat something you can’t smell, touch, taste, or see?

resist compulsions
Pop this bubble!

Your anxiety is physical and clear-cut. Thoughts are nothing more than bubbles.

I know, I know…You are drawn and compelled to focus on the story. (Your obsession.) Focusing on your anxiety is much more tangible. You can actually get something accomplished by learning to experience your anxiety.

It will take some practice! Practice makes……..progress! You don’t have to want the anxiety…want the practice of experiencing anxiety. In addition to Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP), this is another way to stop compulsive behavior.

Remember, you get good at what you practice.

The Best Advice On How to Resist Compulsions:

Practice experiencing the physicality of anxiety. It’s a drill that develops a skill.

Resisting compulsions
Everything you ever wanted to know about how to resist compulsions

 

Compulsions: Do They Really Save Lives?

Resisting compulsions
Questions? I can help!

If you have questions about how to resist compulsions be sure to add them to the comment section on this post. I’ll be sure to address your questions and give you…

The Best Advice On How to Resist Compulsions

 

The Cold Hard Ugly Truth About Compulsions

Compulsions put the C in OCD.  This seems like “Captain Obvious” but it gets forgotten all the time.

Compulsions
…and I have oCd

People don’t connect their compulsive behavior to having OCD. The diagnosis of OCD gets lost in the sea of anxiety. Even though they intellectually know the behavior stems from a neurological condition, people get all tangled up in their OCD story.

What Drives Compulsive Behavior?

Anxiety

The urge to do a compulsion is purely anxiety-driven. During the performance of a compulsion, anxiety is outsmarting and outplaying the intellect. Compulsions are performed to avoid anxiety.

Clients often disagree, “But, I don’t have anxiety.” That’s because compulsions temporarily mask anxiety.

Let this sink in: If you are willing to be uncomfortable there is no need for a compulsion.

Delusion of Grandeur

Many people with OCD, believe they might possibly have the gift of intuition or premonitions. “I do these compulsions because I have good instincts.” Intellectually they know they have OCD, and that they don’t have a super power. But on the slim chance that their obsessions foreshadow the future, they’re going to keep up the compulsive behavior…just in case.

If they really could know what’s coming and stop something bad from happening, they’d be rich and famous. This idea of being gifted is nothing more than a story to help manage anxiety.

Let this sink in: If you are willing to surrender and find out what happens from moment to moment, there is no need for a compulsion.

What Drives Compulsive Behavior?

A Lack of Insight

Compulsions lack common sense. For example, what does counting car door handles have anything to do with pulling out of a parking spot? In fact, it doesn’t make any sense because mirrors help you see what’s around you; not door handles. But, you can see how anxiety, not intellect is driving this behavior.

Compulsive behaviors are unreasonable

Compulsive behaviors go beyond the limits of social acceptability and lack good sense. You can tell it’s a compulsion by applying the “reasonable person” test. In a room full of 100 people, how many of them are doing what you’re doing? “Not many!” That’s how you know this behavior is not reasonable and is purely driven by OCD.

Another way to know if your behavior is reasonable is to answer this question: Would you recommend that a young child or your best friend copy your compulsive behaviors?  Are you so confident that your compulsions are truly magical that you would recommend them to anyone else? Would you go on TV or write a book urging people to do them?

If your compulsions are so effective, why aren’t you teaching them to others? Because compulsions put the C in oCd and you know it! That’s why. 

You never used to have to do these compulsions, why now? Nobody else has to do these behaviors, why do you? The answer is because you haven’t learned <<YET>>  how to master your anxiety.

Let this sink in: If you are willing to put your trust in someone you consider to be reasonable and copy their behavior, even when it doesn’t feel right, there is no need for a compulsion. 

The Cold Hard Ugly Truth About Compulsions

You may think that your compulsions derive out of compassion and concern for others. But, they really are rooted in selfishness. Before you get offended with this idea let me be the first to say I am a very selfish person. I wholeheartedly and sincerely admit it.

I give everything I have to help people. Since 1983 I’ve been in the helping profession. Over the years I’ve left numerous positions when the job stopped making me feel good. I’m not an OCD therapist because I’m selfless. On the contrary, I’m a therapist because I’m selfish.

Compulsions
No such thing as selflessness

I’ve been told I need to start putting myself first. I reply, “I put myself first every single day of my life.” Because everything I do for others I’m really doing for myself. It makes ME feel good to help people. If I’m not making a difference in someone’s life, I don’t feel good about myself. I’m not altruistic. I’m selfish.

The same can be said about compulsive behavior. People perform compulsions to feel good. The story might be, “I do what I do to prevent harm.” But, that’s just the story. The truth is that every compulsion is performed in an effort to feel better. Every compulsion is selfish.

What Drives Compulsive Behavior?

Selfishness
  • Can you take responsibility if something you do or don’t do results in harm? Whatever the consequences, are you willing to pay them? “Yes, but I will feel horrible guilt.” Okay, so you’re doing all these compulsions to avoid feeling horrible.
  • If you get sick and spread it to everyone you live with, can you say you’re sorry and help everybody get well with home-made chicken soup? “Yes, but I’ll feel bad.” Okay, so you’re excessively cleaning and sanitizing so that you don’t feel bad.
  • Can you make corrections and apologize for the inconvenience if you make a mistake? “Yes, but I’ll feel stupid.” Okay, so you’re double triple checking your work so that you don’t feel stupid.
  • Are you willing to take responsibility and apologize if you say something displeasing to someone? “Yes, but I’ll feel like a jerk.” Okay, so you’re constantly making sure people aren’t mad at you so that you don’t feel like a jerk.

Whether feeding OCD or helping to starve OCD, both of these missions are done for selfish reasons. But, only one of these callings is truly helping others.

Let this sink in: No matter how much good we do for someone, it is for selfish reasons. If you truly want to help others there is no need for compulsions.

An Unwillingness to Accept Responsibility

Do you think it’s possible that you perform compulsions to avoid harm because you don’t want to feel responsible?

Maybe the plastic bag on the road could fly up onto the windshield and block the driver’s vision. It’s possible you should have gone back and picked it up. But, are you 100% sure this is something other people would do? Or, could the urge to remove the bag be nothing more than the “c” in oCd?

Are you considering picking up that bag because you can’t bear feeling responsible? Not that you would even know if anything happened, it’s just that you don’t want to have to worry about the possibility of being responsible.

The bottom line is that thinking about being responsible for something makes you terribly anxious. And you haven’t learned <<YET >> how to experience anxiety.

Just because you’re anxious doesn’t mean something’s wrong.

Let this sink in: If the time should come that you are rightfully blamed for something bad happening, will you accept the consequences? If you are willing to take responsibility for your honest mistakes, wrongdoings, mishaps or lack of attention, there is no need for a compulsion.

Feeling anxious? Getting an urge to perform a compulsion? Consider the following before trying to thwart the anxiety:

  • Is this something dangerous or just unpleasant that you are avoiding?
  • If you don’t know what happens next (like the rest of us) is that okay?
  • Are you 100% sure that a reasonable person is thinking or acting like this?
  • Are you being selfish in order to feel “just right?”
  • If something were to actually happen, are you willing to step up to the plate and take responsibility for any role you played in it?
Today’s Best Advice on Resisting Compulsions

It’s important to call compulsive behavior what it is. If you’re going to do a compulsion, at least get rid of the story and admit what you’re really doing. “I’m choosing to feed my OCD right now so that I can get temporary relief.” It’s that plain and simple. The story behind the compulsion is FAKE NEWS.

Resisting compulsions
Everything you ever wanted to know about how to resist compulsions
“The Only Reason For a Compulsion: It’s Not What You Think.”
Resisting compulsions
Questions? I can help!

If you have questions about how to resist compulsions be sure to add them to the comment section on this post. I’ll be sure to address your questions and give you…

The Best Advice On How to Resist Compulsions

Five Little Known Secrets About Compulsions

Compulsive behavior
Here, my little friend, I know the way out!

You’ve probably discovered OCD can be very convincing. What a brilliant mind OCD must have. What must it take to convince you to buy into doing compulsions? OCD has got to be very perceptive and calculating. Wouldn’t it be something if you could be just as cunning and sly as OCD? 

Well, I’ve found something that might just help. A lot of people write books about OCD but did you know OCD has written books too? They’re very hard to find and that’s why I was so excited when I stumbled upon OCD’s Playbook of Compulsions.

When I read this book I wasn’t surprised to learn that OCD doesn’t play fair and square. In fact, its entire game is one of deceit. I’m reviewing a chapter from OCD’s Playbook and it’s called, “Five Little Known Secrets About Compulsions.” 

In this chapter OCD reveals five secrets about compulsions:

#1) You Get Good At What You Practice

At first performing compulsions is awkward and hard to get just right. But with practice, you get really good at them and to not do them takes you out of your comfort zone.

Compulsions Defined
I can see you!

A compulsive behavior can be invisible or observable. Most everyone is familiar with observable compulsions and there’s really no limit to what they entail.

Observable Compulsions Include:

  • Retracing, stepping or walking a certain way
  • Checking locks, appliances, switches or cords
  • Repeating certain words or phrases
  • Blinking, counting, tapping, stretching, touching or doing things in a certain sequence
  • Washing, cleaning or sanitizing
  • Avoiding people, places or things
  • Asking for someone to repeat what they said
  • Using only “safe” numbers or words
  • Arranging objects in a certain order
  • Tattling or confessing
  • Reassurance-seeking by asking the same questions or Googling the same thing over and over (click for more info and video.)

Which compulsions do you tend to perform?

 

OCD Can Be Very Convincing But Also Very Conniving

It is especially important to identify or target mental compulsions. You’ll mistakenly think you have pure “O” if you don’t. Don’t overlook mental acts. Make sure you identify mental compulsions because if you don’t how will you know what to stop doing so that you can recover? 

Mental Compulsions Include:

  • Counting or creating images and shapes in the mind
  • Scanning the body or the environment
  • Checking for intention (Was that thought deliberate? Did I mean it? Is that thought me or OCD?)
  • Mentally going over and over something in hopes of getting certainty
  • Checking for the ability to feel connected to others
  • Making promises to self throughout the day
  • Checking, “Am I feeling what I “should” be feeling?”
  • Repeatedly rewinding & replaying an event or a conversation
  • Replacing a bad thought with a good thought, or a less bad thought
  • Checking to see if the obsessions are still there or similarly, obsessing about obsessing
  • Analyzing a thought to discern real vs. “just OCD”
  • Trying to figure out why a certain thought keeps occurring
  • Repeating the same phrase or word in your mind 

Which mental compulsions do you perform?

 

What OCD Doesn’t Want You To Know About Your Compulsions:

You get good at what you practice. Practice compulsions you’ll get good at doing them. You’ll get so good they’ll come rather easily and eventually turn into a hard habit to break. If you practice feeling uncomfortable, you’ll get good at it. Everything you ever wanted is on the other side of fear. To get there you’ve got to go through it not around.

#2) Performing A Compulsion Is A Choice

There is no supernatural force making you do compulsions. You choose whether or not to do a compulsion. What you think about is not your choice. You can’t choose your thoughts but you can choose how to react to your thoughts.

Compulsive behavior
Nothing happens unless I say it can happen!

You choose compulsions to feel more in control.

The urge to perform a compulsion is usually prompted with relentless and persistent warnings: “If you don’t do this you’ll be sorry. Things will get out of control and bad things will happen.” It can be seductive and promising, “You’ll feel more in control, just do it this one last time.” 

Although some compulsions were started so long ago that they’ve become more of a habit than an urge, you’re still choosing to do them. When I put the cap on the toothpaste there’s not a lot of thought behind the behavior.  It’s really a habit.  But, I still have a choice whether or not to put the cap on the toothpaste.

We are always in control of the choices we make. Sometimes we’re just not being mindful enough to choose wisely.

What OCD Doesn’t Want You to Know About Compulsions:

You started compulsions to feel a sense of control and now you have less control than ever.

#3) Every Compulsion Is Done to Avoid Discomfort

You might proclaim that you perform compulsions to save yourself or somebody from harm. But, that’s just a story. Like any OCD story, it’s irrelevant. What it all boils down to is that you don’t want to feel uncomfortable.  

Follow any OCD story to its end and apparently, the result is catastrophic as you will either be destroyed or abandoned. 

  • If I get a cold or flu, I’ll miss out. I have to sanitize. If I miss out I’ll get behind. If I get behind I’ll fail miserably (destroyed) and end up alone (abandoned). 
  • These horrible thoughts make me feel like a bad person. I’ve got to stay away. If I act on these thoughts I’ll feel guilty and won’t be able to live with myself (destroyed) and no one will ever love me again (abandoned).
  • I don’t think I’m good enough. I’m so inadequate. I have to double triple check everything. If I make a mistake I’ll be held responsible. I could lose everything (destroyed) or be laughed at (abandoned).
Compulsions
Baaa hahaha…

In OCD’s Playbook of Compulsions, there is a cartoon of OCD basically boasting from underneath a bed, “Baaa hahaha…if you were willing to be uncomfortable there would be no need for a compulsion.”

What OCD Doesn’t Want You to Know About Compulsions:

You started compulsions to avoid discomfort and now you’re more uncomfortable than ever. 

In OCD’s Playbook of Compulsions, there is another chapter called, “How to Manipulate the Reward Center of the Brain.” It goes into great detail about how OCD manages to get you addicted to compulsions. 

For now, we’ll have to save that chapter for another time. (Unless OCD finds out I have the Playbook and breaks into my house and steals it back.) But OCD also briefly mentions the “reward center” in the current chapter we are reviewing: 

Five Little Known Secrets About Compulsions

#4) Performing a Compulsion Only Gives Temporary Relief

In a nut shell, the reward center in the brain reinforces the compulsive behavior by releasing a happy juice called, Dopamine.  Pleasure becomes associated with the compulsion. You become addicted to the compulsive behavior.

You become addicted because the dopamine doesn’t last long and you crave more of it. How to get it? Perform the compulsion again. C’mon, repeat it. Once more, repeat it. Last time, repeat it. The relief doesn’t last long. That’s how you get hooked.

OCD is like a drug dealer and entices you with its promises of feeling good. The idea is to get you to buy without even thinking about it. Once you’re hooked the price just keeps increasing.

What OCD Doesn’t Want You to Know About Compulsions:

You started compulsions to feel good and now you’ve never felt worse.

#5) The More Compulsions You Perform, the Less Confident You’ll Be

Compulsions are performed to gain a sense of certainty. Except OCD is a fraud and can’t give you certainty. Nobody on this earth has certainty.

Did I turn off the faucet? If you check you won’t feel very confident the next time you use the faucet. When you check you give your brain the message that you can’t be trusted.

Compulsive behavior
My memory is horrible!

If you take a picture of the iron unplugged and bring it to work with you the picture tells you that you left the house with the iron unplugged. Unless of course OCD messes with you and makes you doubt what day you took the picture. 

You’ll need to take a picture every time you use the iron because you’re giving your brain the message you can’t be trusted. In fact, you’ll start to doubt whether you turned other appliances off and take pictures of them too. Soon you’ll be dragging photo albums to work.

What OCD Doesn’t Want You to Know About Compulsions:

You started the compulsion to get rid of doubt and now you have more doubt than ever. 

Today’s Best Advice On How to Resist Compulsions:

Everything you think a compulsion will do for you–expect the opposite to occur. If you are willing to experience uncertainty and doubt (discomfort) there is no need for a compulsion. There is no need to avoid.

Resisting compulsions
Everything you ever wanted to know about how to resist compulsions
“The Cold Ugly Hard Truth About Compulsions”
Resisting compulsions
Questions? I can help!

If you have questions about how to resist compulsions be sure to add them to the comment section on this post. I’ll be sure to address your questions and give you…

The Best Advice On How to Resist Compulsions