Are You Willing to Go Head-to-Head With OCD?
As a social worker, it is my ethical responsibility to employ evidence-based treatment for OCD. It seems like OCD is a moving target, and so for me, it’s essential to make sure I am current on cutting-edge, effective treatments.
ERP is the gold standard treatment for OCD because it has been tweaked and improved upon over the years. Researchers and practitioners have given much attention to the best way to step outside of one’s comfort zone, and there have been significant discoveries concerning attitude.
Think of it like ERP with Attitude.
You Have to Be Willing to Feel Anxious
You have to do more than seek exposures and “put up” with the discomfort. It’s good to get up the courage and go toward whatever makes you anxious. But your attitude is crucial. You can’t drag yourself through it just to get through it.
ERP with Attitude: You have to WANT to feel anxious. Welcome the worry, the doubt, and all the what-ifs. Hit it hard. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Do one thing every day that scares you.” When going head-to-head with OCD, you’ve got to do more than one thing every day that scares you.
During a recent visit to North Carolina, I looked for ways to step outside of my comfort zone. I hunted for a lot of things that would make me uncomfortable.
Take a Scary Walk
I walked alone along the Cape Fear River, where I was assured of being eaten.
I was disappointed I never saw one. How can I practice without the trigger!
Let People Down
I went to the “House of Pickleball” where I didn’t know anyone. Mostly I was afraid of letting people down. I play a lot of Pickleball, but the receptionist warned me the competition would be fierce.
I was so nervous the first game I blew it—0 to 11. My partner, whom I just met, said: “Maybe you just have to get used to the new setting.” But in my mind, she was thinking, “What is she doing here? She doesn’t belong here. She’s going to drag us all down.”
It occurred to me to make things better for them; I should leave, but I didn’t. What could I possibly gain by leaving? And, what would they gain by my leaving? Maybe it was meant for them to play with a loser. I chose to be energized by the anxiety and we won 5 of the next 6 games.
Do Something New
When I called home and told my family what I was planning to do, they asked me not to do it. “Why not?” I asked. “Because you’ll fall and hurt yourself and you’re all alone, and you don’t even know where the hospital is.” So you can imagine that when I did this next thing, I had no confidence. I doubted my abilities.
I was pretty wobbly at first. Mostly my anxiety had me so revved up it was hard to balance. Every move I made caused the Segway to jerk. “Good,” I thought, “this is going to put me in the hospital, but at least it will make an interesting story.”
I reminded myself to use my bones to carry the anxiety, not my muscles. By loosening my muscles, my steering became smoother. (Well, for the most part, but there was that one time I almost ended up in the river with the alligators.)
Life Lessons On a Segway
Before taking off through the city of Wilmington, the guide had me practice in the parking lot. He warned, “Initially, you’re going to think you’ll never figure out how to do this. But, I’ve never had anyone not figure it out. People of all ages learn how to do it in about 7-10 minutes.” Of course, I thought I’d be the first person not to be able to figure it out. He continued, “So if others learned how to do it—you can learn how to do it.” Should I trust common sense?
After a few minutes, my guide said, “You look comfortable. I think you’re ready for the tour.” I was still anxious but looked more relaxed because I used my tense body like biofeedback and switched my mindset to using my bones. I told my muscles I didn’t need them. I trusted my bones, and this relieved my muscles, which makes any task at hand so much easier.
Did you know the way to move forward on a Segway is to lean forward—and especially to go up a hill you have to lean WAY forward, I mean drastically forward? At first, it’s scary because it feels like if you lean too far ahead, you’ll topple over. Before the first hill, my guide advised me, “You are going to feel uncomfortable leaning into it. But, if you hesitate, you will only make it worse.” Leaning into a challenge gets us to the top faster.
Don’t Be Indecisive
If you’re not leaning forward on a Segway, you’re caught in a wobbly movement. The slightest shift from one knee to another is a sudden balancing act. You’re stuck in place trying to find balance but not really going anywhere. Not going forward feels like indecision—trying to feel just right but going nowhere.
Get Up and Move
To brake on a Segway, there is no seat but you act as if you’re going to sit down. There are no brakes. When you “sit down” the Segway comes to a halt. I think we can say the same about life. When you don’t get up-and-moving you’re only putting the brakes on life.
Life Rewards Action
We were only supposed to tour for 60 minutes, but the guide could tell I was having fun taking on the challenge of maneuvering hills and curbs, so he added 30 free minutes! Living well with anxiety is challenging but also rewarding.
Why Is a Therapist Anxious?
I felt anxious many times during this trip to North Carolina. Just before take-off, in front of passengers, the airline staff threatened to fine me $1,000 for something I didn’t even do! My mind told me this was a sign to get off the plane, but I didn’t.
In an email, the stranger who said he’d take me on a private Segway tour told me to meet him in the parking lot of an empty park and to look for his white van with no windows. My mind told me he was going to kill me, but I trusted common sense and went anyway.
On the way home the flight attendant said she wasn’t going to get up from her seat. “There’s going to be a lot of turbulence and last week a flight attendant passing out snacks fell and broke both her legs.” The pilot spoke through the intercom, “We’re in a holding pattern waiting to be given the okay to land. It should be about 15 minutes and then we’ll give it a shot.” WHAT????????
A person reading this post might say to me, “I don’t understand. You’re a therapist. How can you not have any tools for your anxiety?” I use a lot of tools! But that doesn’t mean I won’t have anxiety. The goal is to embrace anxiety not to get rid of it.
ERP with Attitude
Remember what you’re fighting for. Let your values drive you forward. For me, I don’t want to waste time white-knuckling my way through anxiety. Time is precious and I can’t get it back. I have anxiety and I might as well figure out how to make the best of it.
Stay tuned for the next post to talk about being unthinkingly willing and eager to go head-to-head with OCD. While you’re waiting for the next post give some thought to the word, unthinkingly.