Say Something I’m Giving Up On You

OCD
There’s no end to the questions…

OCD thrives on answers. If you stop answering its questions you cut off its oxygen. But, OCD is a trickster and only needs to ask one single irresistible question and POW!!! Down the rabbit hole, you go.

I was watching a mother with her young daughter in the grocery store the other day. This toddler had so many questions! The mother answered every blessed one—no matter how ridiculous. Instead of feeling interrogated she seemed to love her daughter’s curiosity. When she answered the questions her tone of voice was very reassuring. Naturally, the toddler was having fun and enjoyed the attention. So the questions just kept coming.

If you know me—then you know it’s just like me to make an experiment out of the situation and follow this mother and daughter around the store. It’s incredible the Market Bistro even lets me anywhere near the store considering all the ERP I bring my clients to do there! I picture security watching the camera and when they see my car pull into the parking lot they groan, “Oh no. Now, what is she up to.”

There’s no end to the questions

Anyway, I followed this family around in the store because the toddler reminded me of someone I know. Someone who never stops asking questions. The questions are the most absurd, ridiculous and cockamamie you can imagine. This toddler was precisely like OCD, and I wanted to know how this remarkable Mom handled being bombarded with one question after another.

How long could this Mom hold up? When would she get tired and put a stop to it? The questions were relentless. How would the mother get out of this mess??? How could she stop the never-ending questions? Was it even possible?

OCDI could see the mother was getting tired and honestly I don’t think I would have lasted so long. Eventually, Mom’s answers became shorter and vaguer. And then I heard Mom start answering every question with one of these responses: “Because I said so” or “I don’t know why it just is…”

The toddler tried a few more questions. But, Mom didn’t give in. I heard her say, “Maybe. We’ll have to find out later.” The toddler became quiet and looked right at me. I smiled in the most non-creepy way I could. She looked away (probably thinking this weirdo has been following us all over the place.)

In a matter of minutes, the toddler fell asleep in the shopping cart. Wow!! Mom stopped answering, and the toddler GAVE UP! And THIS (as Montell Jordan would sing), IS HOW WE DO IT! I put my hand up to high five the Mom, but for obvious reasons, she turned and went the other way.

Of course, the difference between OCD and a toddler is that the child evolves. Her crawl becomes a walk. But more importantly, she becomes intellectually disciplined. Over time the toddler uses experience and reasoning as a guide to belief and action.

OCD is incapable of developing these critical thinking skills. 

I’m reminded of another song, by A Great Big World called, Say Something I’m Giving Up On You:

Say something; I’m giving up on you
I’ll be the one if you want me to.
Anywhere, I would’ve followed you
Say something; I’m giving up on you.
And I am feeling so small
It was over my head
I know nothing at all

OCD knows nothing at all…hence the nonstop questions. Everything is over its head. And if you don’t talk to it…it feels small and retreats to slumber.

And I will stumble and fall
I’m still learning to love
Just starting to crawl
Say something; I’m giving up on you
I’m sorry that I couldn’t get to you

Finally, bossy pants OCD, admits it’s still crawling. It knows nothing at all. That’s right OCD!!! You can’t GET TO ME!!!

Anywhere, I would’ve followed you
Say something; I’m giving up on you
And I will swallow my pride
You’re the one that I love
And I’m saying goodbye

Good! Bon Voyage, OCD! Sayonara! Hasta la vista, baby!

Go right ahead and give up on me, OCD!

Oh listen, OCD is begging now:

You can answer every question OCD asks and it will never learn anything. Stop answering its questions and it will give up on you.

Don’t answer OCD when it asks, “WHY” or “WHAT IF…”

DON’T ANSWER with anything except this script:

  • I don’t know why…it just is.
  • Maybe, maybe not; time will tell.
  • Whatever. Who cares. So what.
  • If it’s not happening now, it’s not happening.
  • At this moment, right here, right now…it’s pretty okay.
  • If that happens it will be unpleasant and I’ll deal with it.
  • There’s no way to know for sure. Time will tell.
  • I know you’re afraid, OCD. That’s because you know nothing at all.
  • I’d rather take the risk than live like this.

Hasta la vista means, “See you later.”  OCD will give up if you don’t try to reassure it. But, that doesn’t mean OCD won’t try again to engage you. Stick to the script. Even if it means sounding like a broken record.

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